Overheard funnies and frequent inquistions

I have always been astounded by the fact that kiddos think if they're not seen, they're not heard. On the contrary, they are often heard the loudest at those times.

Instead of babbling on and on about the setting of these strange occurrences, I thought I just quote them. You may use your own creativity for the setting or the situation of each quote. Additionally, I will omit the identity of the speaker so as not to cause embarrassment or incriminate guilty parties!

"Jesus taught me! That's how I know it all!"

"I got more swag than you! More than you can handle. And the goods to match it!"

"That's how God made me! Now, leave me alone."

"You think she'll notice?"

"Oh yes, there's four! Wonder when I can shave?"

"I don't smell that bad. I can't smell me."

"Now the moment of truth, did you or did some little green guy make you do it?"

"Man, she's hot, with two Ts!"

"I make this look GOOOOOOOOOOOOOd!"

"When I'm in charge, you'll see."


Additionally, enquiring minds wanna know! I have been ask a host of questions throughout my children's lives. Most stem from wondering where things come from or the inter-workings of rocket science...as a mom, it is a little known fact that all moms are experts in a wide-range of fields.
(pardon the randomized list)

"Where do babies come from?"

"When a baby is in heaven, how does God pick which one goes where?"

"As a baby in your tummy, did I drink milk, water, or juice?"

"Can I blow that up using a black cat bottle rocket? The cat won't mind."

"Why do girls go to the bathroom in herds?"

"Do you know where I left my machete?"

"Mommy, will I know my wife's address?"

"How does God make hamburger helper?"

"Where do the fish go in the winter when the lake freezes?

"Do you remember____________?" ( probably not, memories fade with age. That's why we have kids to keep our history's straight.

"Mommy, will you marry me?" (that is one of my all time favorites:) )

" Can my wife and I live with you and daddy forever?" Me: "Why would you want to do that?" "well, because that way, I won't miss you and daddy! And the food will be good too!"


Things that make you go..... uhmmmmmm!